Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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