I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We left an ass print on the piano.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
