I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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