Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
