I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
