i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
