And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
