We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
