I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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