btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
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your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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