guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize