I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
