Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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