Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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