How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
