I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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