did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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