Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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