Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
