remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
