He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
