so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
