You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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