perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
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Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
there is glitter all over my balls
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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