Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
