He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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