I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize