just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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