For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
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BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
All I want is dick and wine.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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