I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
