I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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