he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
