So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
