addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize