those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
