There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
