She is in my trunk
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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