Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
