Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
