Nicole vs. Life
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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