I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
