I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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