She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No subtext here. People are naked.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize