this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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