Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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