I'm gonna have a badass scar
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
