I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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