your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I supernannyed him into submission
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize