I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
