She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
