I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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