You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
