He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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