Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
