well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
