But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
