Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
