In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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