Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
