In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We're using joints as your birthday candles
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
