It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I need to stop coming to work sober
Fuck appropriateness.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize