Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
