what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
