Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
