I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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