im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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