What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I want to be your penis for a week.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
